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By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Good relationships dont just happen. Ive heard many of my clients state that, If I have to work at it, then its not the right relationship. This is not a true statement, any more than its true that you dont have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction. Ive discovered, in the 35 years that Ive been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you. For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself. When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming ones partner for ones own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship. KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change you can only change yourself. LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. Weve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship. For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually by learning instead of controlling. CREATE DATE TIMES When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together. GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS Positive energy flows between two people when there is an attitude of gratitude. Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you dont have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well. FUN AND PLAY We all know that work without play makes Jack a dull boy. Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy. SERVICE A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life. If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship! About The Author Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of a powerful healing process called Inner Bonding. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_Paul,_Ph.D. http://EzineArticles.com/?7-Ways-To-Improve-Your-Relationship&id=16730 ambien online buy ambien warnigns ativan withdrawal symptoms ativan over the internet

By Troy Parrish PART FOUR: Things to Try at Home. Working with students at home primarily involves the completion of homework. Research continues to demonstrate that homework indeed is helpful in gaining learning from the educational experience and that students that do the homework learn more. However, the amount of homework clearly needs to manageable and doable within an hour or one and one half hour. This time limit can be tough with the amount of information that students are being exposed to continues to increase and the material they are trying to cover grows, but this limit has been demonstrated to be just as effective as longer sessions and will decrease the likelihood of resistance from a student who is already having some difficulty with school. The first place to start concerning school work at home is the organization of that school work. It should be relatively easy for the student and parent to know what the homework is, when it is due and if the student has completed that homework. A good organizational system will also allow a parent to communicate with the teacher and know if the homework is being turned in. In addition to organizing the homework itself, the time and place homework is completed should be relatively structured as well, with the place being consistent, neat, orderly, and with minimal distractions. The time should be early in the afternoon, preferably right after school and a small break upon returning home. This time frame will allow parents to check to see if the work has been done and time to resolve any question that may have come up when the homework is being completed. Often, this organization and structure is sufficient to resolve homework issues as the child is being held to account for their work. A second intervention is the communication of the behavior that occurs during the day in the form of a daily report card that is sent home. At home some type of reinforcement for positive behavior and consequences for overtly negative behavior can be utilized. In the event that the student has more than one teacher, a single report card can be used with space for each teacher to check or write their comments. In the event that this type of structure is insufficient, the addition of some form of behavioral modification program can be used to increase cooperation. . A behavioral modification program is an incentives program that is established with the understanding that certain behaviors will get specific rewards and typically involves a chart and tracking behavior and rewards. These programs are most effective when they are behaviorally specific, behaviorally concrete and usually involve a few behaviors on which to focus. In the case of homework, a child would be expected to be in the appropriate seat at home at the appropriate time and to complete the assigned homework to the best of their ability. If they have questions, they can ask if a parent is readily available or they can set that question aside until the homework is reviewed. It is important with difficult students that they be held to account for the work they are assigned and they should be readily aware that this accountability is going to happen. As noted in part two of this article, the presence of positive reinforcements are critical to success as parents who focus on the negative consequences only will have less control over the homework situation. A simple way to look at this is that at any job you may have had you were far more motivated by positives than be negatives, children are no different. It is usually advisable to get some guidance in establishing your first behavioral modification program either from a reputable book or a counselor (either at school or privately). Behavioral modification programs done poorly often backfire and create more problems than they help. In the event that the homework seems excessive or overwhelming for your student and you are having to do combat for several hours a night to get the work done, consider talking to the school to get some accommodations for the amount of work expected from your child or some additional help with the concepts being taught in order to relieve some of the pressure at home. It is desirable to make the homework experience as pleasant as possible in order to win as much cooperation as possible. It can also be helpful to have a second set of books at home in the event your child neglects to bring home the needed text book. Troy L Parrish MA LCPC is a professional counselor with over 17 years of counseling experience. He has spent a significant portion of that time working with children and teenagers, particularly those with behavioral problems and those with Attention Deficit Disorder. He has created a video to help parent create a system to keep track of and assure that their children are completing their homework. You can get more information on this video by going to http://www.homeworkkeeper.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Troy_Parrish http://EzineArticles.com/?Creating-Success-with-Difficult-Students-Part-4&id=321456 ambien united states best price ambien ambien discount online dnipnet online online ambien zolpidem

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kate_Ross]Kate Ross Especially for those who cannot get approved for a home improvement loan by applying with traditional financial institutions, online home improvement loans can provide all the funding they need for making repairs and additions to the property. These loans provide more flexibility when it comes to qualification and the loan terms are also more stretchy and friendly. Any Amount For Your Home Improvement Needs There are different home improvement loan types for each different need. For starters, if you dont need too much money or you dont want to use your home as collateral, there are unsecured home improvement loans that require no security at all and can be used to finance small home improvements. If you need larger loan amounts and you want a more competitive interest rate, then, home improvement equity loans are the right option for you. These loans are secured with the equity on your home and provide considerably higher amounts at very low interest rates. Just like a home loan. Home Improvement Equity loans are the best option because any range of home improvement expenses, including materials and professional fees can be covered with these loans. Moreover, if you need flexibility because the improvements will take a while, you can request an equity line of credit and withdraw the money as you need it and repay it when your income allows it. Online Home Improvement Loan Lenders Requirements Online lenders, as opposed to traditional lenders, have less requirements and are less strict when it comes to credit qualification. Moreover, since most home improvement loans are equity loans, these lenders almost disregard your credit score and history and focus on the characteristics of the property being offered as collateral. Someone with bad credit has nothing to fear, if his income is good enough to face the loans monthly payments, chances are that he will get approved regardless of his credit situation. There are even lenders specialized in providing this kind of loan for people with poor credit history. The loans are tailored so the monthly payments are affordable enough and suit for any budget. Nevertheless, credit score will determine at least (among other variables), the interest rate youll have to pay for the loan. Bad credit applicants might have to cope with higher interest rates but since these loans are usually secured, the interest rate wont be that high and the loan length can always be extended to affect the income/spending ratio the least possible. So, if youve been declined by traditional lenders or you know you wont meet their harsh requirements, you can always apply for a home improvement loan with an online lender. There are many online sites offering comparatives between lenders and other services. Just search online for [http://www.speedybadcreditloans.com]home improvement loan and compare loan quotes to get the best deal available. — Kate Ross is a professional consultant at [http://www.speedybadcreditloans.com]Speedybadcreditloans with fifteen years in the financial field. She helps people in the process of securing personal loans, mortgage, refinance or consolidation loans and prevents consumers from falling into financial scams. Also you can visit http://www.badcreditfinancialexperts.com/article/ to get more articles and smart tips on this and other financial issues. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kate_Ross http://EzineArticles.com/?Get-Finance-Through-Online-Home-Improvement-Loans&id=358534 ambien cold turkey zolpidem ambien ambien warnings ambien ambiem

By Rita Kennon At the turn of the twenty first century, an estimated forty two percent of Americans used herbal remedies, raw herbs or other types of nutritional supplements as a part of their self-care routine. There are many thousands of people who have found that the herbal remedies and supplements of yesterday are still working for them today. On the other hand, there are many people who still doubt the virtues of herbal remedies and alternative medicine. The skepticism of herbal remedies is understandable because of the many companies today that use outdated, low quality, ineffective herbs. One has to search out reliable companies that operate under strict FDA guidelines to find herbs, and high quality herbal remedies that actually work. Did you know that most prescription drugs and medications were at some point derived from a natural substance? As a matter of fact, one fourth of the prescription drugs sold in the U.S. contain at least one active ingredient which was derived from a plant. Before purchasing an herbal product, ask yourself the following 5 questions. 1. Do they provide standardization information? 2. Do they have an approval seal for the ingredients purity standard? 3. Have they been in business for a long time? 4. Does the company offer testimonials? 5. Do they offer a guarantee on their products? These are the types of things you will want to research before purchasing an herbal supplement or alternative health product. The seemingly endless list of herbal remedies and alternative solutions go on and on. It seems you can either cure or greatly improve a wide variety of symptoms with some sort of alternative health solution. Sometimes disease is unavoidable, but many illnesses can be prevented by following a healthy diet, exercise, using herbs, and avoiding tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. Herbal medicine simply works at dealing with the cause of disease or prevention, while modern medicine works at the effect or symptoms of the disease. Maintaining a healthy digestive and immunity system in the body is critical to the good health of an individual. A healthy digestive system, and immunity system can easily be attained through adding the proper herbs to your healthy lifestyle. Your digestion supports energy, strength, detoxifies tissues, and helps you think clearer. A strong immunity system will help you avoid many illnesses. It will also ensure your body is able to fight off maladies such as cold, flu, degenerative diseases, and infections. Some of the healthiest people never take any sort of conventional medications? Believe it or not, there are some folks that do not even use over the counter medicine for headaches. They either go without conventional medications and opt for a little lavender oil, or try an herbal remedy such as a cup of basil tea or a couple of willow bark or feverfew capsules to get rid of their minor pains. One of the reasons herbals have become more popular in the past decade is because people like being more in charge of their own health. Botanicals and dietary supplements are generally safer than prescription drugs when they are used appropriately. Whether you are taking a supplement to maintain health and wellness, or to fight symptoms of disease, first make sure you find a reputable well established company that have good quality herbal remedies, herbal supplements, or raw herbs. It is always a good idea to consult with your physician and let them know what you are taking. This is especially necessary if you are taking any type of drugs, because sometimes different substances have adverse interactions with each other. If you do your research, and use precaution when using herbal remedies, you will find that they can help you in many ways in your quest for good health. Herbal Remedies Herbal Remedies You Can Trust & Free Alternative Health Newsletter Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rita_Kennon http://EzineArticles.com/?End-Herbal-Remedies-Confusion-Now&id=243820 ambien on prescription cod ambien cod long term effects of ambien buy ambien generic zolpidem on sale